A New Year A New You... Or Not

We all know the beginning of a new year brings new hopes, inspirations, motivations, and a feeling of renewal. I always feel so refreshed come January 1st; with new beginnings we can’t help but reflect on the past 12 months. Being a therapist, I wholeheartedly believe useful learning can come from looking into the mistakes we made or things we wish we did better. We start down this road with the hope of doing better in the next 12 months but unfortunately more often than not we end up criticizing ourselves for plans that went unfinished, goals unmet, and list never checked off?  Harm doesn’t come from gaining this understanding, the harm comes with how we abuse ourselves with it. Okay so we dropped a few balls over the year, we need to let it go and move on. Self-criticisms blocks our ability to improve and grow, we don't need a new us, but instead a new belief in ourselves. January is the perfect time to pick ourselves up and set new goals, new lists, and new plans based on this new belief. but first take the time to look through the positive of the 2013.  

One of my favorite ways to do this is reflecting on the fun experiences of 2013. Throughout the year my husband and I write down memorable experiences on a little piece of paper and then throw them in a jar to be opened and laughed over on New Year’s, We have no idea what the other wrote down. It’s a great way to relive the positives while also learning the types of things the other finds memorable. Different experiences mean different things to each of us, this helps me remember that what I think is meaningful he may not and vise versa.

In what ways can you reflect on the positives of 2013. For some of us it may be hard to sift through the struggles we faced but I do believe God always provides a glimmer of light even in the darkest of times. Find that light and hang on to it as you begin a new chapter in 2014.

"Beginnings are usually scary, endings usually sad, but it's the middle that counts"

Until Next Time~Be Well in 2014

The Mayonnaise Jar

Feeling overwhelmed? Rushed? Stressed? When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, 

When 24 hours in a day is not enough; this parable may be just what you need

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and start to fill it with golf balls.  He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded. With an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table

and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions; Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else -- The small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first. The things that really matter.  Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Until Next Time ~Be Well

Have you gotten lost in the Holiday frenzy? Are you drowning in to-dos? So much to do and so little time… Christmas shopping, Advent Calendar activities, volunteering, cookie exchanges, decorating, holiday festivals, dinner parties, cocktail parties, secret santas, gift exchanges, Christmas letters, and multiple family get together (plus extended and blended families). I think all of us fall victim to losing sight of the true meaning of Christmas. I’ve even heard some say the increased expectations lead them to hate this time of year. 

The good news is YOU are the only one who cares if the cookies don’t get baked, Advent activities go uncompleted, or you forgo the Christmas letters. Most of the pressure we feel is self-induced, we are great at guilting ourselves into doing everything only to then wind up frustrated and resentful at the very tasks we thought we wanted to do. Remember it’s not what We Have To Do ~ It’s What We Get To Do… this is different for each of us. Christmas Day is not D-Day; it’s hard not to get mixed in the whirlwind as we race around preparing for what needs done. 

So what can we do? Spend time searching your heart for what Christmas means to you and your family. What does your ideal family Christmas season look like? Identify those few traditions that mean the most to you and keep in the true spirit of Christmas; say No to the rest.  I promise you will find yourself refreshed, at peace, and able to enjoy the moments of the season instead of racing through the day’s to-do dreading each passing day as Christmas draws near. 

The Christmas season is one to experience, not merely survive!

                                                                                                      Until Next Time ~ Be Well