So often when we are facing a problem, we find ourselves
stuck in the mental back and forth of our options. Sometimes, it can seem there
are countless options, possibilities, and endgames while other times, we feel
if there just aren’t enough good options to choose from. Decision-making most
often comes down to finding a way to optimize a positive outcome while
minimizing the negative effects. Another way to look at it is simply weighing
out the pros and cons before coming to a conclusion. If only it were “simple”
though. Facing bad-to-worse outcomes can
often be the reason we stay stuck in our current situation; decision making
would be a piece of cake if we only had good possibilities to choose from,
unfortunately in reality we all know this is rarely if ever the case.
The good news is if you’re having a difficult time making a
decision, take a breath and find solace in the fact that you only have 4
options, but before you even begin looking at your 4 options, you first need to
realize if the problem can be solved. I don’t mean in your mind’s fantasy
world, I mean in the every day here and now: How would you answer these questions?
- is this YOUR problem or does the problem belong to someone else?
- is this problem in YOUR power to
solve?
Keep in mind that solving a problem by expecting another person or
situation to change isn’t in our power and can’t be a viable decision. If you’ve
decided that YES this problem is MINE and in MY power to change, then YOU CAN
1. Change your
perception of the problem: meaning change the way you think about and look
at the problem. Remember that old saying, “change your thoughts – change your
life” this is exactly what this is referring to. By changing our cognitive
perception and thinking in a more balanced way we can often change the problem
by simply changing the lens we view it through.
2. Accept It
Accepting the problem doesn’t necessarily mean it’s no
longer a problem; it means that you no longer are going to devote your energy to
it. Some may say its similar to changing the way you think about the problem
but it’s more about continuing to recognize that yes the problem exist but that
you are choosing not to bother with it. You are choosing to “let it go and move
forward”. This type of action can be most effective when you are facing
problems that are not within your power to change.
3. Stay where you are
I know this doesn’t seem like much progress because really
it isn’t, it’s choosing to stay stuck. Whether we like it or not, there is
comfort in the known (even if that known is uncomfortable). Change is scary and
many times we prefer to stay in what we know instead of venture into the
undefined. Remember that a decision to take no action is still a decision.
4. Take Action Steps
Towards Change
So you’ve decided enough is enough! Not only are you ready
for things to be different but you are ready to make some specific changes, but
before you jump in with both feet, spend some time assessing your motivation
for wanting change. A word of caution before you begin taking further steps:
Avoid making decisions if you have been feeling sad (depressed) or have
recently experienced a trauma in your life, allow the sadness to lift,
depression to be treated or time to pass between the trauma and a big change. Once
you feel ready to make changes this is where your plan needs to begin. Here is
where the real action takes place. If you’ve decided that changing your
perception isn’t enough, you don’t want to continue being stuck and you aren’t
going to accept it: Now is the time to develop an action plan.
Watch for my follow up post of specific action steps in any
problem resolution plan.
Until Next Time ~ Be Well
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