Your Action Steps: Problem Solving Part 2

Congratulations on making up your mind and deciding to take action steps. The easy to follow problem solving steps below will help you not only organize your plan but will help you evaluate your steps overall effectiveness in order to assess if you need to make further changes. 

"We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems." - Lee Iacocca (1924 - )

Until Next Time ~ Be Well

Always 4 Choices On The Table

So often when we are facing a problem, we find ourselves stuck in the mental back and forth of our options. Sometimes, it can seem there are countless options, possibilities, and endgames while other times, we feel if there just aren’t enough good options to choose from. Decision-making most often comes down to finding a way to optimize a positive outcome while minimizing the negative effects. Another way to look at it is simply weighing out the pros and cons before coming to a conclusion. If only it were “simple” though.  Facing bad-to-worse outcomes can often be the reason we stay stuck in our current situation; decision making would be a piece of cake if we only had good possibilities to choose from, unfortunately in reality we all know this is rarely if ever the case.

The good news is if you’re having a difficult time making a decision, take a breath and find solace in the fact that you only have 4 options, but before you even begin looking at your 4 options, you first need to realize if the problem can be solved. I don’t mean in your mind’s fantasy world, I mean in the every day here and now: How would you answer these questions?

• is this YOUR problem or does the problem belong to someone else?
• is this problem in YOUR power to solve?

Keep in mind that solving a problem by expecting another person or situation to change isn’t in our power and can’t be a viable decision. If you’ve decided that YES this problem is MINE and in MY power to change, then YOU CAN

1. Change your perception of the problem: meaning change the way you think about and look at the problem. Remember that old saying, “change your thoughts – change your life” this is exactly what this is referring to. By changing our cognitive perception and thinking in a more balanced way we can often change the problem by simply changing the lens we view it through.

2. Accept It

Accepting the problem doesn’t necessarily mean it’s no longer a problem; it means that you no longer are going to devote your energy to it. Some may say its similar to changing the way you think about the problem but it’s more about continuing to recognize that yes the problem exist but that you are choosing not to bother with it.  You are choosing to “let it go and move forward”. This type of action can be most effective when you are facing problems that are not within your power to change.

3. Stay where you are

I know this doesn’t seem like much progress because really it isn’t, it’s choosing to stay stuck. Whether we like it or not, there is comfort in the known (even if that known is uncomfortable). Change is scary and many times we prefer to stay in what we know instead of venture into the undefined. Remember that a decision to take no action is still a decision.

4. Take Action Steps Towards Change

So you’ve decided enough is enough! Not only are you ready for things to be different but you are ready to make some specific changes, but before you jump in with both feet, spend some time assessing your motivation for wanting change. A word of caution before you begin taking further steps: Avoid making decisions if you have been feeling sad (depressed) or have recently experienced a trauma in your life, allow the sadness to lift, depression to be treated or time to pass between the trauma and a big change. Once you feel ready to make changes this is where your plan needs to begin. Here is where the real action takes place. If you’ve decided that changing your perception isn’t enough, you don’t want to continue being stuck and you aren’t going to accept it: Now is the time to develop an action plan.

Watch for my follow up post of specific action steps in any problem resolution plan.

Until Next Time ~ Be Well

Motivation Monday

Nothing can trample my motivation as swiftly as a cold and snowy Monday morning. Knowing tomorrow morning’s forecast is calling for just that, I know I need to be proactive tonight in prepping for tomorrow. If you’re like me than you know you can’t count on mood or sheer will as a motivator in the morning so we need to take a few extra steps to be successful. It can be helpful to remember to take the emotions out of the initial action. So you don’t want to drag yourself out into your bitter air, wait for your freezing car to warm up and haul yourself into the gym… I don’t blame you but you also have the power ignore what you want and don’t want, put those emotions on the backburner and go on auto pilot in the morning. It’s okay to stop thinking about it and just go through the motions until your will begins to turn around. The best way to do this is to take steps this evening to take the “thinking” out of your morning. In my world of planning and preparation this means laying my workout clothes out ahead of time (including my shoes and winter gear), packing my gym bag and leaving it by the door, and planning what I’ll have for breakfast. I won’t stop there though; I’ll also plan out my gym routine ahead of time so indecision doesn’t get in my way. I found if I have a clear workout plan then I am much for inclined to not only go to the gym but I’ll also optimize my workout time better than just winging it.

So if you are anticipating a motivational lull in the morning, what steps can you take ahead of time to mitigate your lagging will power?

Until Next Time ~ Be Well

"You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind"

A New Year of Striving

Until Next Time ~ Be Well

Stress Conclusion!

Now that we’ve explored the historical make up of stress (review here) as well as identifying our individual stress tolerance point (review here), lets move more into the present. Obviously, the stress we experience today is vastly different than the stress our ancestors had to face. Our stress is associated more with psychological stress as opposed to the environmental or physical stressors of a previous time. Current research by The American Psychology Association continues identifying money (71%), work (69%), and the economy (59%) as the most commonly reported sources of stress. Some medical doctors even report 2/3’s of medical office visits are the result of stress.

If you do a Google search of stress management techniques, you will inevitable come up with thousands of hits; each outlining the most effective tools for combating stress both proactively and reactively. The most important consideration regarding stress management tools is that your strategies need to be modified for you as an individual. There truly is no cookie cutter approach to managing stress that is 100% effective for all of us. In the same ways we each have distinct triggers and unique responses, we also fluctuate in what tools and strategies we find effective. So before you get carried away with the thousands of different ideas out there. Take some time to remember those times you were incredibly overwhelmed yet you successfully coped with and navigated through the demands. What strategies do you already practice to effectively manage stress? We all have some skills that work for us otherwise we’d exceed our stress tolerance point each and every day. So before you jump ahead to reinvent the wheel, reflect on what coping skills work for you and which ones need replacing or tweaking. Remember that as our lives change, so does the need for different coping skills. Strategies that worked in college or before you were a parent might no longer be effective for you. Don’t limit yourself but instead allow yourself to think outside the box and try something new.  Remember that don’t have to reinvent the wheel, adjust what’s been effective in the past and learn from your mistakes. Past failures are really just growth opportunities (Cliché… Yes I know, but that doesn’t make it any less true).

If you’re still coming up empty handed or are looking for some fresher ideas to incorporate into your stress management toolbox: Here’s what you need to know:

• Coping with stress is as much proactive as it is reactive meaning that you need to clearly know your tipping point and know when you are creeping upon it.

• Cope with demands as they arise, don’t let them build up until you’re about tip.

• The most obvious way to avoid stress and remain under this point is to avoid stressful environments or demands… however unfortunate it is, this is rarely practical. To deal with stress; address the stressful trigger directly: can it be changed? If the answer is no, then WE need to change or accept it.

• Remember that all change is stressful (stress = ANY change) so whether positive or negative we still must cope.

• There is a difference between internal and external coping skills:
• External coping skills are the most widely used and referred to, these include things such as getting a good night sleep, eating for fuel and not for emotions, being active everyday, limited caffeine, laugh, plan ahead, and spend time with those make you feel good.
• Internal coping skills may be more difficult but are also possibly more important. Examples of internal coping skills include
• Release the belief that you are responsible for everyone and everything
• Let go of perfectionism
• Becoming comfortable accepting help
• Focus on what’s important and let the rest take care of itself
• Focus on what you can control

• Chronic Stress occurs when stress goes unchecked and unmanaged. Chronic stress affects EVERY system of the body and can lead to countless health problems. Again, 2/3 of doctor visits are the result of stress! Watch out for stress headaches, its common for accumulating stress to start as a small headache. This level of stress can even start to feel normal however the more normal it becomes, the more likely it is you'll fail to notice the subtle signs your body is giving you that
  you're closing in on your tipping point (if not exceeding it)

Take a few minutes to review the links below. The first two will provide you with specific strategies to manage stress while the 3^rd provides you with random yet interesting  facts about stress.

http://talkmentalhealth.com/stress-management-techniques

http://www.womansday.com/in-this-issue/stress-relief-tips?click=ht#slide-1 
http://facts.randomhistory.com/stress-facts.html

Until Next Time ~ Be Well

July & August's Notable Words

I want to apologize to those of you who look forward to my notable words posts, I somehow missed last month yet I hope the few extra ones below help make up for it. As always enjoy and Be Well!

And

Have a great September!

Until Next Time ~ Be Well

Our Stress Tolerance Point

To read the first post in this Stress Series click here!

Just as the way we perceive stress is highly individualized, so is our Stress Tolerance Point. Our Stress Tolerance Point is that specific point at which stress begins to have a negative impact on us, it’s the point at which our performance declines, when we begin to lose focus on the task, and when we recognize the symptoms of being stressed. It’s the point at which we go from what we can handle, the level of demand still being manageable to one step further where the demands exceed our capacity and we tip over the edge. Remember that even though not all change is bad, all change still creates stress on our bodies (stress simply equals a change). We all experience a number of positive and negative events that create stress. Whether we perceive an event as positive or negative we must cope with it all the same. Often times we use the same maladaptive coping skills to manage positive stress/change as we do with negative stress/change, unfortunately what we don’t realize is that negative coping skills only exacerbate the negative impact of stress; doing more harm than good.

Before we get further into active coping strategies, let’s first look at identifying our Stress Profile by accurately identifying the stress we’ve been under. By analyzing our needs and current abilities, we can take a look at the things that trigger us to feel stress. Triggers are all those things that cause us “to stress”, it’s based on our perceptions and on our individual tolerance point. Triggers can fall into 4 distinct categories: environmental, personal, physiological, and social; each impacting us slightly differently. Journaling is a powerful tool to understand what our triggers are and how each trigger impacts us differently. If you’re not a journal-er, no problem, just spend some time thinking about your own stressors. It shouldn’t be too difficult to identify when demands go from manageable to you feeling overloaded and unproductive. We usually know what we can handle but lets not forget about “the when”.  Timing is everything. Its no surprise that holidays are a stressful time. Regardless of demands, they are stressful! The” what” is only half the equation, the “when” being the other half.

As we begin to get a deeper understanding of our stress triggers (the what when, and how much), we begin to see that stressors don’t occur in a vacuum and we need to be careful of not creating a simple ranking system. Change needs to be understood in context to what else we are facing at any given time. It’s important we understand the impact of compound stress; one event may not usually lead to unmanageable stress however adding it on top of other “small” events and we are now experiencing compound stress. Nothing puts us over our threshold quicker than compound stress. One stressor (even a seemingly big one) seems more manageable because we’re better equipped at handling 1 thing, we get frazzled when things begin piling on top of each other. We lose focus simply because there are too many things that need attending to, too many things demand our time. Contrary to popular opinion, we are not very good at multitasking; we are far more successful at managing 1 demand, one change, at a time. 

A common example of this is moving away from loved ones to begin a new job. Maybe you’re very accustomed to beginning new jobs, typically feel very comfortable as the new employee or jumping right into an unknown task, maybe you usually find this type of change exciting, however add the changes that come with settling into a new place 500 miles from your stable support system, and your quickly burdened with compound stress. All the positive change may leave you feeling overwhelmed and anxious. On the surface, these may all appear to be positive steps, you may have even voluntarily moved and sought out a new job, however change = stress regardless if the change is positive or negative. You may notice changes in your mood, sleep habits, appetite and energy level all as a result of experiencing so many significant changes at one time.  

If you’re still having a hard time identifying triggers there are a number of stress rating scales available, one of my favorites is the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (also known as the Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory); developed by psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe in 1967. After noticing a link between stressful life events and illness, Holmes and Rahe created a 43-item checklist of various life events to help make a connection between experienced stress and risk of future illness.  The Homes-Rahe Stress Inventory captured a way to assess a person’s life within the past year and apply a weighted amount to each event – creating an overall stress score categorizing our overall stress level.

Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory

Now that we’ve identified our stress tolerance point, the next step is to begin understanding how we respond to stress; what are the healthy and maladaptive strategies we rely on? Where can we make changes and develop a better action plan? While my follow up post will focus on coping skills, it’s essential to differentiate between what we can control and what we can’t. In order to successfully manage our environment we need to pick an element that is controllable and work on that one thing. It’s important to identify those things we can and cannot change. It’s a waste of our time trying to change what we have no control over, we need to instead spend our energy developing positive coping strategies and change those things that are within our control. For everything else, we need to practice acceptance as a coping skill.

Until Next Time ~ Be Well