Always 4 Choices On The Table

So often when we are facing a problem, we find ourselves stuck in the mental back and forth of our options. Sometimes, it can seem there are countless options, possibilities, and endgames while other times, we feel if there just aren’t enough good options to choose from. Decision-making most often comes down to finding a way to optimize a positive outcome while minimizing the negative effects. Another way to look at it is simply weighing out the pros and cons before coming to a conclusion. If only it were “simple” though.  Facing bad-to-worse outcomes can often be the reason we stay stuck in our current situation; decision making would be a piece of cake if we only had good possibilities to choose from, unfortunately in reality we all know this is rarely if ever the case.

The good news is if you’re having a difficult time making a decision, take a breath and find solace in the fact that you only have 4 options, but before you even begin looking at your 4 options, you first need to realize if the problem can be solved. I don’t mean in your mind’s fantasy world, I mean in the every day here and now: How would you answer these questions?

• is this YOUR problem or does the problem belong to someone else?
• is this problem in YOUR power to solve?

Keep in mind that solving a problem by expecting another person or situation to change isn’t in our power and can’t be a viable decision. If you’ve decided that YES this problem is MINE and in MY power to change, then YOU CAN

1. Change your perception of the problem: meaning change the way you think about and look at the problem. Remember that old saying, “change your thoughts – change your life” this is exactly what this is referring to. By changing our cognitive perception and thinking in a more balanced way we can often change the problem by simply changing the lens we view it through.

2. Accept It

Accepting the problem doesn’t necessarily mean it’s no longer a problem; it means that you no longer are going to devote your energy to it. Some may say its similar to changing the way you think about the problem but it’s more about continuing to recognize that yes the problem exist but that you are choosing not to bother with it.  You are choosing to “let it go and move forward”. This type of action can be most effective when you are facing problems that are not within your power to change.

3. Stay where you are

I know this doesn’t seem like much progress because really it isn’t, it’s choosing to stay stuck. Whether we like it or not, there is comfort in the known (even if that known is uncomfortable). Change is scary and many times we prefer to stay in what we know instead of venture into the undefined. Remember that a decision to take no action is still a decision.

4. Take Action Steps Towards Change

So you’ve decided enough is enough! Not only are you ready for things to be different but you are ready to make some specific changes, but before you jump in with both feet, spend some time assessing your motivation for wanting change. A word of caution before you begin taking further steps: Avoid making decisions if you have been feeling sad (depressed) or have recently experienced a trauma in your life, allow the sadness to lift, depression to be treated or time to pass between the trauma and a big change. Once you feel ready to make changes this is where your plan needs to begin. Here is where the real action takes place. If you’ve decided that changing your perception isn’t enough, you don’t want to continue being stuck and you aren’t going to accept it: Now is the time to develop an action plan.

Watch for my follow up post of specific action steps in any problem resolution plan.

Until Next Time ~ Be Well