Acting vs. Reacting

Is there a difference between Acting and Reacting?

When was the last time you did both? It’s easy to React. Many of us may have even Reacted during our morning commute? Did another car pull out in front of you, forget to use their turn signal, drive too slow or too fast? Did you React? By Reacting, I'm not referring to an auto-pilot physical response such as breaking; I’m talking about our emotional responses such as yelling, that look of death, a stare down as we pass the other car, certain hand gestures, etc. Did you then look to your passenger as an innocent bystander of someone else’s incapable driving?  Did you say ”what, I only yelled because they did ______________.” If you did any version of the above, YOU REACTED!!! (I am notoriously guilty of this one, I struggle with mild road rage, but I'm happy to report I've come a long way in managing my driving REACTIONS  since moving out of Pittsburgh.)

Essentially Reacting is giving control of ourselves to someone or something else. We almost never look at it this way but in reality Reacting is exactly that, we are saying if they didn’t do _____________, we wouldn’t have done _______________.  Whether or not reacting gets you into trouble, it can almost definitely lead you into a foot-in-the-mouth situation.  Reactions are those knee-jerk behaviors, smart comebacks, snide comments, and hostile words.  They are often dominated by anger, frustration, and other negative feelings. Our ego and pride get the best of us and we React. Emotional Reactions are evidence of our internal belief system that developed as a result of our past experiences. Like all other behavior, emotional reactions served a helpful function at one point, but as an adult, they can keep us stagnate and unable to move forward.

Since our overall life satisfaction can be determined by our ability to regulate our emotions especially in difficult or unpleasant situations, its important for us to understand the difference between Acting and Reacting.  Acting is a way for us to take control back. Acting allows us to respond in an appropriate and beneficial way. It is a

positive way to get our needs met without allowing knee-jerk reactions to control us. It is making a conscious choice – it is deliberate and intentional responses that can only be done after we allow ourselves time to process the situation. Once we process the situation, we can explore options to move past it, only then can we make a choice on how to ACT.  One of the best ways we can achieve this is allowing ourselves a cooling off period, a period to understand our emotions, clarify our goals, and develop a plan to move forward. It's important to realize thought that sometimes the best Action is No Action!

What have been your experiences Reacting vs. Acting? Is there one area you React to most? Try considering how this reflects your belief system. 

Until Next Time ~ Be Well